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I wish I could say this guy was in the minority, but we have to face facts: for men in the church, it’s a buyer’s market.

Women, on the other hand, have narrowed down their lists primarily to non-negotiables: growing in the Lord, bathing regularly. And if you are overweight, you can’t remain that way.

When getting to know a guy, I like to hint at my weight loss journey (truly a lifelong battle — I remember being on a diet when I was only eight), because it seems the only kind of tolerable fat person is the one who’s not okay being fat, the one who despises it as much, if not more, than everyone else.

As a Christian dating site we believe that marriage is a sacred covenant between man and woman, ordained by God as part of His divine plan for each of us. God says in Genesis : "It isn't good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs." God himself brings people together according to his timetable.

Sometimes it feels like his plans are limiting us, and sometimes it's not easy to wait for God's timing.

That my body is a great concession that my future husband would have to make.

That everything that makes me lovable cannot outweigh my weight.

I once had a close friend confide in me that a boy I liked told her he could never date me, despite being “attracted to my personality,” because of my weight, because he was embarrassed by me.

It was my worst nightmare come true — that my personality does not offer enough redemption for my looks.

Drawing on biblical motifs and the church fathers, Colón and Field envision singleness as a witness to radical dependence on God — and to his expansive love for those outside the church. As we went on with our lives and earned degrees, we had long conversations about our frustrations of being single in the evangelical church.

Assistant editor Katelyn Beaty spoke with Colón, who is associate professor of English at Wheaton College. So we started to look for good advice for older singles, because much discussion about abstinence [is for] high schoolers and college age people.

It feels like things should be different in the church.


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