But, he didn’t make himself available for more romance.
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It simply means they’ve been married and divorced, which could mean all sorts of things!
There are amiable, civilized divorces, and then there are bitter, vindictive divorces—along with everything in-between.
If you notice any one of the following issues in the man you’re dating, take it as a warning that he may be lacking in important qualities that help make a relationship successful.
These include respecting others and having healthy emotional boundaries (knowing where one person ends and the other person begins).
It’s like those articles that say something to the effect of “divorced men make great partners because they know how to commit since they’ve committed to marriage before,”…unless, of course, he’s a serial cheater, which might be the reason he got divorced in the first place.
People commit to each other and get married for all sorts of reasons.
They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.
They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.
wo years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. It lasted a full 10 hours (we’d met up for coffee at 3 p.m.
on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book KNOW.
All this information came up over the course of our 10-hour date, and to some extent, the process of James discussing it was akin to someone waving a red flag in my face. The point of course is this: There are some serious pros to dating a divorced guy. The Cons: (I thought we’d get the negatives out of the way first. ” You’ll have to manage her continued pining, her continued pursuit. You will see him see old photos, you will see him cry or scream or fume or mourn. And – lest it bears mention – this is all as much fun as… A guy who’s lived with a woman for a significant period of time has a pretty good sense of what to say and when to say it. If you’re boyfriend’s divorced, you can be 99 percent sure he’s lived with someone else for a while and has a solid understanding of shared space as a result. A divorce is a horrible thing to be sure, but from what I’ve observed, it’s also pretty humbling.