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It’s healthy and necessary to ask for — and deliver — status updates so that the other knows where things stand at all times. Thankfully, modern technology has made it super easy for you to get off whenever, however, wherever.

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When the person you’re with is in a different time zone, their day-to-day can be a mystery.

It’s good to check in, just to see if everything is copasetic. The nature of your relationship means that both parties know it’s not checking in out of jealousy or other reasons. The hardest thing about a relationship that exists purely through screens, phone calls and Snapchats is the lack of physical contact.

The inevitable ennui sets in, but before you chalk this up to another fling with no staying power, do yourself a favor: Consider the adult long-distance relationship.

I dated someone long distance in college for three years, and while it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, it certainly wasn’t the best.

I don’t know, it’s something about seeing “sexting with my boo” in your mental day planner that saps all the excitement out of it. He said something weird to you that you misheard while looking for your shoes and rushing out the door? Maybe you’ve been harboring quiet resentment over the way your partner sheds all of their clothing like a snake does its skin on the way to bed.

It’s best to happen upon these situations organically — maybe after you’ve slipped out of a party early, you’ve had a couple of glasses of champagne, and you really, really miss him. Clean passive-aggressively while making pointed comments under your breath, then fight about it!

These arguments are almost second nature when you’re living in the same house, or spending a lot of time with someone, but when you’re not, it forces you to realize what is actually worth fighting for. Make sure there are loose plans in place to see each other semi-regularly.

There is great freedom in the act of letting things go. If you’re dating someone who lives a train ride away, it’s easy to spontaneously hop on a late night train out of the city and surprise your boo.

He’s visiting from somewhere else, but something clicks and all of a sudden it’s on.

After a whirlwind week where you manage to cram in a months’ worth of getting to know you, he leaves, back to his life and you to yours.

For starters, we were 20 years old, that tricky age where every decision is both extremely important and completely irrelevant.


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